Archive for voyeurism

Butt Pluggin’ Fun

Posted in Anal with tags , , , , , , , on February 1, 2010 by sexwars

I actually have no objection to butt plugs, per se.  In fact, I have shopped for butt plugs myself, although I think shopping for them and purchasing them are two entirely different kettles of fish.  I even found a favorite, to wit:

http://www.extremerestraints.com/butt-plugs_1/extreme-anal-jewelry_257.html

Emerald, if I ever go there.  In case you were wondering.

But I digress.

My point is, I’m not opposed to butt plugs.  I think they’re kinda cool and if you’re going to be having anal sex regularly, I think they’re a useful tool in not being in agonizing pain during the sex.

I’m not so sure I’m down with how this particular caller uses them.  Again, more power to him and all…just not my thing.

“I love my butt plug.  I love the way my girlfriend forces it into me and makes me wear it out shopping.”

Exhibitionism, sort of.  I’m down with it.  I’m actively planning a wilderness fuck for the boyfriend once the weather warms up.

“I love the way she makes me wear her panties over it, french cut, always the french cut.”

Ok.  I’m still down with it.

“I love the way she pulls it out of my ass when we get home and makes me lick it clean for her.”

*shudder*  I prefer NOT to have an anal-oral relationship with my own poop.  That’s just me.

“Sometimes, she’ll do the whole thing on webcam and let her girlfriends in Chicago watch me lick it clean and beg for more.”

Actually, more power to her.  I hear the webcam girls make in the neighborhood of 400/day, easily, which is good money for a few hours’ work.  If it were me, I’d skip my girlfriends and start charging for that service. I suggest to him the possibility of going global.

“You mean….strangers watching me lick my butt plug clean?”

Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.  Why is this an issue?  I mean, I’d rather have strangers watch me than people I have to socialize with.  If I had to choose.  Which, thankfully, I don’t.  Because that’s not my life.

“I couldn’t let strangers watch me.  It’s easier with family and friends.  It’s cozier that way.”

I couldn’t disagree more, of course, but then again, his butt, his call.

🙂

Working Hard

Posted in Swingers with tags , , , , on January 29, 2010 by sexwars

This is the most amazing thing.

I get this call from this guy who told me that his boss stocks the break room with porno magazines and lets them call these sex lines on their breaks, with company money, “That’s where we get your numbers, right?  From the magazines?”

Yes.  Ok.  Weird but strangely awesome work environment.

“But today, after we called, while I was waiting for you to come on the line, he tells me that he wants to fuck my wife.”

Um…ok.  I’m not sure if he’s outraged or what.  I say, “Umm….what do you think about that?”  and he says, “I don’t know, I don’t think she’ll go for it.  And does he mean once or twice, or like, all the time?”

I’m thinking, that’s not really the point, but that’s just me.

“Because, you know, I think for all the phone sex he pays for and job security and all of that, it’s worth a couple of fucks, but not more than that.”

I’m pondering, for a minute, his wife.  That is NOT a great marriage, where he’s willing to sell her to his boss in payment for phone sex.

I say, “If he wants more, maybe you should think about looking for another job, you know?”

And he says, I swear to GOD, “I’d rather look for another woman, you know?  I get paid really well here.”

Sign of the times, people.  The economy is so bad that people will give their wives to the boss and find a new girl to keep their job.  Yikes.

Most amazing to me was the epitaph.  He calls me back a few minutes later.  I say, “Hey, we JUST talked.  What’s going on?”

“I figured if he’s going to be fucking my wife, I can call you again.  It’s, like, balance.”