Swingin’ low

I love swingers.  I really, really do.  They are so much fun, so harmless.  No pedophilia, no incest, no animals.  Just consenting adults having hot sex.  May all the swingers specifically request to talk to me.

Among many fantastic callers that were swingers, I had one I especially enjoyed.  He’d call periodically, update me on he and his wife’s adventures, the things they were doing.  We had a friendly little relationship.  He’d share his–theoretically true–encounters, and I’d share my wildly inventive ones.  It was a good gig.

Then one day he called me, urgently whispering into the phone, “I just got home, and my wife is fucking someone else.”

Yawn.  Yeppers, that’s how that works.

“And?” I say as the pause lengthens. “Hasn’t she done that before?”

“Not like this,” he hissed into the phone.  “This is breaking the rules.  I’m not here for it, his wife’s not here for it, no one knows what they’re doing.  She’s CHEATING ON ME GODDAMMIT.”

I ponder this for a moment, because seriously, this woman has fucked half the state from all accounts.  Fidelity is NOT one of the major by-words of this relationship.  But at the same time, I can see his point.  Infidelity in a highly structured way is not the same as infidelity committed randomly.  I can see that.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about it, since mostly my job is moaning and whatnot.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I say, figuring, well, hell.  I’m his friend, of sorts.  Probably one of the few people he talks to about this that doesn’t know both parties.  I’m probably the closest thing to a therapist he has at this point, god help him.  “Do you think if you go in and join them, it’ll be ok?  Or will that make it worse?”

There was a long silence as he watched them fuck.  “Worse, I think.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I don’t want a divorce, but she’s CHEATING on me.  I don’t even know how long she’s been doing this, or who else she’s been fucking.”  He sighs heavily.  “I didn’t know who else to call,” he says at last.

“It’s ok, baby,” I say, as gently as I can, “It will be ok, I promise.  I’ve been cheated on, and I know how much you’re hurting.  But it will get easier and it will get better.”

“I guess.  Thank you for listening to me,” he mutters, clearly dispirited.  And then he hung up.  And I haven’t heard from him since.  I feel like I failed him in some way.  But it is what it is, I did the best I could in the moment.  I think of him from time to time.  He was a basically good guy, as all swingers seem to be.  I hope he’s doing all right.

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One Response to “Swingin’ low”

  1. Cheating is low and it is always a sad situation.
    With swingers however it can even be a worse situation than normal.
    As a swinger your spouse has an outlet for sexual fun.
    That is often the reason given by vanilla people. “The had boredom”

    So…. what was the reason? It had to be something more. It can make it hurt that much more. You know it wasnt just the sex.

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