Golden showers bring…I don’t know what

Let’s discuss golden showers.

Y’all know what those are, right?  Just in case you don’t, go here:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=golden+shower

We’re on the same page now?  Ok, movin’ on.

See, here’s the thing about my alter ego.

I’m mostly pulling from porn and reading to be able to pretend to have done a lot of the things she’s done.  However, there was an unpleasant moment early in my marriage where the charming sociopath thought this would be fun.  I can tell you quite definitively that it is in no way tasty or sexy.  *shudder.*

Right about now I’m glad my family doesn’t read this blog.

Ok, so when I get calls about golden showers, I am actually fully cognizant of what we’re talking about and it makes it a lot harder for me to pretend it’s in any way sexy to me.

My favorite of the golden showers callers was a nice man who didn’t want or need me to describe it in any kind of detail, but merely wanted to listen to me pee.

Repeatedly.

And wipe, why the hell not?

He really was a sweet guy, kept asking if I minded.  And no, not really.  It’s less unpleasant than the gagging thing, see this post for my feelings on gagging:

https://sexwars.wordpress.com/2009/12/31/subs-and-dungeons/

All he really wanted from me, aside from that, was descriptions of my fellow (fictional) strippers peeing in the dressing room bathroom of our club.  I can describe beautiful women in the bathroom–I have sisters, I lived in a dorm, c’mon–and it’s one of the easiest things in my day, actually.

Especially the hot redhead with a cleanliness fixation who won’t let her ass make contact with the seat.  Because of COURSE someone that fastidious would work as a stripper.  Sure.

😛

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