Pretty Things

A note about cross dressers: by and large, they do not appear to be gay men, despite the common belief.

My favorite of the cross dressing calls I’ve received is the one that was the most involved.  Most “cross dressing” callers just dabble in it.  They are men that wear their wives’ underwear and usually not much else.  This man, though, I adored.

He said he’d always wanted to dress like a woman, but couldn’t because he was living in a small town, but had recently moved to a larger town a few hours away and was finally able to indulge his urge to dress like a woman.

He started describing the equipment, which range from the obvious–serious investments in waxing, for future reference–and gaffs, which hide his equipment, see below:

http://www.transgendered.net/gaff.html

Plus of course, corsets and breast forms and butt padding.

He led me through his wardrobe preferences, which, incidentally, are exactly what I would do myself, which is to say the man has exceptional taste. (Hahahahahaha.)

Of course I asked about the sex.  He’s going out dressed as a woman, what’s the point, right?  We all like to be pretty sometimes, but he’s going out looking for something.  And he said he started by going out to gay clubs, but there weren’t that many in his area and so he started going to regular clubs.

Which begged the question: is he gay?  Or bi?  And what he said became a refrain from cross dressers that I talked to.  They aren’t gay or bi in the sense that they are attracted to other men or want to date other men.  He, like most, engages in male-to-male encounters because it’s part of the package.  And was afraid/confused/disinterested at first but rapidly came to enjoy at least some aspects of it.

This, I understand.  Sex with men is fun and amazing.  I cannot imagine a world where I wouldn’t want sex, and when I think of all the things I love about sex, it’s always affiliated with the male body.  I always think sex is easier for a woman in that way.  The male, by definition almost, is the possessor in that dynamic.  I can be active, I can be forceful, but I don’t need to be, I can sit back and enjoy the feelings and the sensations that go along with being possessed.  It’s heady stuff, and one that would be easy to get used to.

I always wonder a little, at men who are so opposed to anything sexual with another man.  I think they’re depriving themselves of an entire realm of experience and pleasure almost by rote.  There’s a reason gay porn is more fun to watch, and that’s because the actors are not quite so obviously faking their pleasure.

Sometimes I think crossdressers are the smartest ones among us.  They can experience all the best things about femininity–the clothes, the makeup, the feel of being sexy and powerful and wanted and possessed–and turn around and experience the exact opposite.  I envy them that flexibility.

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